Breaking the ice with Javier [Valentine Stories Part 3] is not no
Friday, March 27, 2009
Free Computer Desks Blueprints
"Why?" "Why yes. I have the right to ask. Your letter is ambiguous. "
I am trapped in a spiral when the calm spreads in my room. Tell me you'll see. Where do I go? Finish without you. So lonely, without you. It is a dark road. I will deeply when dawn comes. Do not let death do us part.
"It's so sad. All is explained there. "" Everything, you say? "" Tell me you'll see. "" We will remain friends. "" And what about all the things you've said? "
Stop. Play.
looking skin picking me in yesterday. I find no awakening. Something is not right, I left your scent. Sorry, the roots effort, a glow in the consciousness ... Forever in you, dreaming without sleep. Releases the candor in your naivete of April.
"And that's what I said." "A pity, Javi, you okay?" "Yes, of course, all is well, no problem." "But are now friends. "" Sure. You can say that our relationship now is better, no? "" Naive. Sure, I guess it's better. "
Stop.
a jug of rum to be served in a bar on Dolores Avenue in one night next to a rock singer in the middle of two guitarists in front of a crowd smiling on stage behind the bathrooms under the people who heard things at the Disco La Roca as a girl tells a guy "We were able to enter without paying." The guy apparently is drunk watching the air sending a text message in front of his glass of rum on the table beside the chair on which the girl left a wallet that probably sounds on a cell phone to take dogs in because I do not believe in the portfolio at this time of night and he will not touch because it is a boy of principles and the text message also seems long when the phone rings and decide off but as you can see why Javier so far. Javier and Paul are talking, some sections of the stage, with a pair of glasses on the table. Javier starts counting a couple of things that happened a few days or a few months or a few hours ago.
It was like always at night for me, Pablito, in these days of February. The house made me sad, sad day I did, and could not but lament the fate of Javier, well, thinking of the third person. They say, when one is close to breaking the limits that every day is like the previous one. In my case, every minute was identical to that just to feel. He knew that one of my weaknesses could be finished by ...? Aborted? Long believed that we are a unique and eternal, to find that way ourselves, and human flesh at last. Rotting Flesh, meat desires with their own faults and failures but also ... also from the other, you never know.
The first night after the letter went to sleep. I slept very well. The next day upon awakening, the logical question appeared. I really do not matter anymore?
Day was as it should be a Tuesday. Invisible, irrecordable, only-other-day in that calendar marking, hoping to return to Arequipa and a good fucking time. It is only when we remember a sin that we feel guilt, I thought suddenly. But what I can I feel bad about sin? I tried to calm down. The memories flowed through Javier, to hit step.
- not coming to dinner?
- No.
- But the whole day have not eaten ...
- I said no!
was not like I could have told you then, Pablito, the whole week I was like idiot Lore [hahaha], cutting the body and crying for their stupid standard, that the sun out for me and that kind of crap. No, never both, but still something left, right? Something medium gray at the bottom of a glass [put the glass in his eyes as he said this], rotting in the background, the feeling of screwing up, I know you understand me and my family finally had to act. It was much worse.
That night we went to the dermatologist, to see how was the matter of the treatment and if the end could stop using that thing on the face, you know that cream. Got in the car and they were my mom and my aunt. The streets are empty or full, passed. Since the route was new, I said
- Where you have moved the doctor?
- For Lynx.
were not going to Lince. I knew very well, but I swear that I was afraid, that can be stupid sometimes, or how little I know the world, but it occurred to me that I was being kidnapped, the idea seemed funny, my kidnapped family . I thought about possible futures, I, Pablito, I so confident in the infinite possibilities of life and eating we discard every second. The most likely future was the most obvious. "Sure, take me to a mental institution for treatment." And I laughed. When Mom pushed me hard after my laughter, there was Pablin, then I seriously scared. I was not sitting near the window, so I could not do anything to escape. I swear I wanted to escape. By downloading, you may ...
When the car entered the private car, I knew that the leak could not occur. No, I have no idea where it seemed near Richi, but you know I can not stop there, is so many people dislike me. I panicked even more.
- This is not Lince, Mom.
- No, it is. Calm down, Javi, everything will be fine from now.
tried to open the door lock and can not reach it. Imagine, then, I hallucinated a Schwarzenegger either. Mom fell fast, for his part, and two types gigantic I swear, giant, suddenly grabbed me by the arms. She said something like "Do not hurt him too much and I started screaming" Mom! Mama! "You understand? Do not laugh, no? I would imagine that a little laughter, Pablito, but your face says it all. Ya, ya, talk about something else.
I got out of the car and was injected with something. Lost the will, but can still see what happens. Walk, perhaps, but not feel their feet, the ceiling light hurts, is abandoned.
front of him in the air, is Sandra, smiling.
- What's happening?
- You're dead, honey.
Vomit, and feel their food ran over her lips, leaving his nose, suffocating, turning down his face and infect your eyes. He wants to tilt the head and can not hold it firmly straps. The disgust is flooded.
The reflector as viewed from above, white and infinite. In the midst of sickness and shit begins to remember.
"My family brought me here. They know I'm wrong, but did not bother to ask what ailed me. They also knew that I did not feel a particular appreciation for them, but considered its obligation to cure any means. I hate them. The hatred for what I do, I hate to be a set of heartless pigs no more interest than money I hate them because eventually I will like them. "
A doctor enters the room. The back of Javier torture the mind, and can only hear the footsteps of the doctor, because can not even turn his head [is that such abandonment or belts?]
- Are we better? -Q.
- ...
- Okay. Your family is very worried about you. Love you very much. They do not like to see you so sad and destructive, so out of you.
"should continue to question what a person may or may not have made me? Where is the sin then? In the person or me? In her or me? Maybe it's a simple error criteria, may not no sin, just a bunch of fools who know not what they do. "
- Okay.
- ...
- I'm glad you think so. A very nice young man with goals, ambitions, and the whole future ahead of someone like you, must always be happy.
"It's amazing what bastard who is this guy. How much have you paid? In the midst of my vomiting, these belts, my absolute filth, the damned surely is smiling, while he sticks the needle, another needle deep he thinks. Much deeper. If a sleeping pill, at least I cleaned while I sleep. " Sleep.
The light from the reflector is quite all there. Javier is enclosed in a cube. The cube is transparent, so transparent that the edges are invisible, but Javier know that the cube is there, you can feel. Everyone dances around the glass cube is and people. Spin, spin, spin. Identified many, but not remember any. Sandra knows that is between them, but so many that surely has been missed. Now that's scary.
[a child I was greatly amused by stories in which the characters were my friends, that is you. Even I was leading. Take, read ... "Anton jumped from the plane and fell into the sea ".]
Anton is also dancing. Is dancing alone. Javier comes over and touches it, but it disappears. Who is Javier vanishes, can not touch anybody. She no longer dances, walks on a street in Arequipa but remember you do not recognize. Is with a backpack and gray sweater. It seems rushed. Identifies
Paul After following a few blocks away. It is the United States Avenue, and Paul is not going somewhere else but do not know a house near a tap. Javier does not remember this place, or seeing it before, this area is not yours. Everything is so real that this site should be, even a veiled way to understanding.
is night. The green bushes are like broken hearts by illumination. Someone says "Javier". It is not really so big city. The enlarged my ignorance, loneliness, mirrors, night, how old she is, works of Jorge Borges. Paul knocks on the door and wait a few minutes. Inexplicably, takes a key and enter, while laughing. The sound of knuckles hitting the metal is curious, but more curious is that kind of muffled shriek heard. Wake
. The ceiling has not changed, and the straps that bind either. How long has it been? One hour, one day a month? No one is around, he thinks. Why have I dreamed of Paul? Where was he going? Javier really has more important things to worry about but the event you are nervous. What drugs have you been? It has never been an observer in his dreams, he was always the main character ... "Paul?" You know that dreams are another way of saying things to yourself. Bah. Vil metaphor for me, that guy. False faces in the wrong bodies. Janus as any.
And, well, Pablito, fuck, do not get full story appears in a dream of mine, no, not gay, hahaha. A metal door, stupid things out there. Things like that. What I do now? Let time pass ... Until things settle down, I guess. Health.
Biyuinfo!
- Recycling of an old story of 2005. Inspired on actual events of my best friend.
- Guided also by Cold Summer Afternoon - Field of Souls. [The letters are in italics at the beginning of the disc.]
- Rirura. Riruha. Rirura. Riruha.
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